discussed more...

I think how we communicate through media could have been discussed more. I feel nowadays that is the only way we really communicate. The use of social sites such as Facebook, email, text messaging is now how we stay in touch and communicate with others. Rarely do we even talk on the phone anymore but catch up with people through viewing their statuses on social network sites. I think this is an important topic because there is so many issues that go with it. For example privacy, as soon as we began to communicate as more of a social media society we are putting our privacy at risk especially by using social media sites.  I think it is important especially in communication classes to educate not only on how things can change drastically in the way we communicate but also on ways we can protect ourselves. I think this is the first time we’ve seen a way of communicating that may be more dangerous than others.

what i learned...

I think through out the course, non verbal communication really stood out to me. I never really thought about non verbal communication, and how it makes almost more of an impact than verbal communication. It is so interesting how we can read people and their feelings without even saying a word. A thing that really made me think was how different cultures interpret non verbal communication in different ways. In some countries it is rude to make eye contact or shake hands, but in our country it is exactly the opposite. Reading about non-verbal communication taught me that I really have to be aware of the way I communicate non-verbally because it is so easy for people to interpret differently than what I would like.

social isolation

• Pick one concept from the assigned reading, not already discussed, that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

I really loved reading about the internet and social isolation. I completely agree with this concept. Nowadays communication is through the internet and other technology. When I go out to dinner I constantly see people on their phones or checking their face book. I personally am a book worm and live on my ipad with the easy access to downloading new books. I think that has allowed myself to be isolated more than I should be.  This has easily taken us away from communicating face to face, and isolated us each into our own technology based worlds.

media

I definitely agree with today’s society, that medium is the message. “Cool medium” is the idea that the audience is suppose to fill in the message. “According to McLuhan’s theory, each medium has its own internal logic, and each affects how we experience the world.” (page 291) Cool medium relates to our society because of how we use the media in everyday life, we need it for updates on our news and for entertainment purposes. Some of the stuff we hear especially news stories allows for us to want to get involved and even base opinions or biases on certain situations.

Have you made friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace? If so, how are they different from f2f relationships? If you have not formed cyber relationships, why not?

I have never made friendships that exclusively exist on cyberspace, however I feel that most of my relationships continue through the easy acess of cyberspace. Today, that is huge part of how we communicate with others and I sometimes wonder how many people I would continue to communicate with if cyberspace did not exist. I think it all comes down to the fact that it is easy and convienient, without cyberspace it would take much more effort to maintain relationships with others so because of the fast pace world we tend to live in, I think cyberspace makes it easier to communicate with each other and keep in touch. I personally am a shyer personality so I think forming friendships on cyberspace would be difficult for me.

interviews!!

My favorite topic was typical interview questions! This was perfect for me, as I attend Jessup University and will be graduating in December, and then starting my path looking for a job! This really spoke to me on ways I can handle the different types of interviews I will be going on.  I usually get so nervous on interviews that I will completely stumble, but this table is a great way to help me prepare and sound confident for the interviews I go on. This table is all about preparation, and I know the more prepared I am the better I will do on my interviews. I liked this table better than finding information from the internet because I felt that it worked hand in hand with me applying who I am in my interviews, instead of sounding rehearsed. The table to give insight on not only being the person who is interviewed, but the interviewee as well.   

etiquette

 I definitely agree with the rules of etiquette in the text. Nowadays, people cannot even have a conversation with one another, without someone checking their phone. We are constantly distracted by our phones. There is a time and a place for using cell phones, one thing that drives me crazy is seeing me people at resturaunts or a dinner table texting or answering their phone, I think it is extremely rude and it takes away from personal time. Answering machines messages should be short and to the point, not dragged on. Its important to know the right time to call people and think about their type of schedules, whether they get up early or go to bed late. Email is a great way to communicate, but I think people tend to use it as only way of communicating and I think its so impersonal. I think it is all about the right time and place, but to me personally we live In a society were we are driven by these phones and electronic communicating. It has become so impersonal, and I think its sad that wherever people go they are constantly consumes by this phone.

organization

Organizations are tied to the environment through people that work and rely organization through business. Sierra College’s relationship to the town is that it is not only a place in the community that encourages people to further their educations, but it provides jobs, housing, and encourages a start to a better future for those who attend and are looking to further their education. It is also a place for sporting events, charity drives, and on the weekends the organization even hosts a place where people can look for cars for sale. Having a college in this area, allows for the community who attend to receive perks such as discounts at certain businesses. The town focuses on the college activity, and the ethical obligations include promoting academic excellence. The college owes the community to provide those that attend the right academic structure to help students succeed and move on to a better future.

Knapp's relationship theory

I found Knapp’s relationship model to be the most interesting concept.  I found the stages in coming together and coming apart to be accurate, and made a lot of sense to me. The most interesting stage and what I believe to be one of the most important is the integrating stage. While we participate in this process we are starting to recognize the loss of being a total person, this can be either welcoming or upsetting as stated in the book. That is why I believe this stage to be the most crucial for relationships. It’s really the stage when two become one together, and identify themselves as a couple and one.  Interests and attitudes become shared, and the couple can experience moving towards similar ways. For this stage to not work as well, I believe insecurity plays huge role and the question of what the other partner may be thinking. I really felt that I learned from this concept as well as related to it so that is why it stood out to me the most.

Ducks theory

I am the type of person that tends to be more shy and reserved than others, so I tend to be the one to sit back and observe, or even let others lead the conversation. The most unattractive qualities that makes me disengage from a person or conversation would arrogance and someone who is gossipy. I agree with Duck’s theory. I think do admit that a conversation can make a first time impression, but I truly believe one’s attractiveness is always determined by their personality. Even the most good looking person can be ugly with certain bad qualities. I think it is absolutely possible to eliminate someone and than reconsider them based on interaction and their cognitive cues. I think that is easy to do with one makes assumptions on another too quickly but realizes their assumptions were not correct, and they reconsider that person. I have done that a lot.

Roles

Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be the most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved? 

I definitely think that competitive symmetry is both the most difficult to change and can be the most damaging to a relationship. For one, when a person thinks relationship, they tend to think of working with a team however competitive symmetry does not allow this. As stated in the text, in competitive symmetry both members are fighting for the one-up position, and that can be not only extremely difficult to change but also to be able to work well together when both parties are fighting for that same position. The pattern of this can be frustrating and take its toll on either partner, because each party is struggling on whether they can relinquish control or not, and its extremely difficult to get the parties on the same page. I think the potentially most damaging to the self esteem can be the rigid complementarity, not to the person who is taking on the upper role but to the person who is taking on the one-down role. I think it can be damaging when one person is more dominating to the other person. It can cause the other person to feel weak.

concept

The one concept that stood out to me the most was the cognitive biases used to maintain prejudices. I related to this because for me personally, my personality is very shy, quiet, and reserved. I have been told on more than one occasion that I come across snobby or stuck up, but the truth is I’m just shy, and I think especially when I was in high school it also was the group I hung out with that got me that label. It is easy for people to judge one another by the way we think people act, but we have to remember that we are all humans and even though we may come off a certain way we shouldn’t judge. This easily happens to perceive people in certain ways by the group they hang out with, but we have to remember to keep an open mind because we don’t want others to judge us as well.

creatures of habit

 Do you agree with anthropologist Ruth Benedict that we are “creatures of our culture” and that our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture? If so, how can we break through the limits of our cultures?

I definitely agree with Ruth Benedict that we are “creatures of our culture.”  I think most people are raised in the way that their parents have instilled certain beliefs on things, as we grow up we tend to instill and pass on these beliefs to our own children. I also think we tend to surround ourselves we those who share the same beliefs that we do. Our culture defines who we are and has a huge impact in how we live our lives. We are all born into a certain culture, and that part stays with us and has an influence on what we belief, the choices we make, and who we surround ourselves with. I do think that our habits and beliefs may change, for example I have seen people grow up in certain religious organizations but have realized as they got older it wasn’t something they believed in, but for the most part I believe our culture is something that stays with u and shapes who we are.

premises

Do you believe in the rationality, perfectibility, and mutability premises? What social institutions and practices are based on these beliefs?

I am torn on these. I tend to go both ways on mutability. Mutability “assumes that our human behavior is shaped by environmental factors, and that the way to improve humans is to improve their physical and psychological circumstances.” I think as humans we make our own choices, and only we can allow whether our environmental factors can impact us, however I think it does depend on the person but as people we have choices.

On perfectibility, I do believe in this. I was raised a Christian, and my religious beliefs are similar to the perfectibility premise. I think everyone has choices and can make effort to choose to do good over bad.

On Rationality, I agree that most people make their decisions based on certain sound judgments. I think the average person can definitely decipher the truth through logical analysis.

The church is the main practice that comes to mind when thinking about who practices these premises, this is something I have experienced personally in my church.

•

furniture arrangement and communicating

I loved reading about the concept of how furniture arrangement effects communication. Before this class I never thought about all the different ways we can communicate with each other and I would of never guessed something like furniture would have anything to do with communicating. It makes sense that the closer chairs are arranged that people are more likely to engage in a conversation where as if they are spread apart, people will not. Dominance in seating arrangement is interesting, for example it is so structured how we prepare seating for debates, classrooms etc. Having a certain person sit at the head of a table takes on a more authroiritve vibe. I relate to this as in family dinners, my father who is the head of our household and kind of runs everything always sits at the head of the table. Another example would be my practicum I currently am doing where I act in as a counselor. I make sure that I am in a certain chair, and my client is on a sofa. I sit across from them because it not only makes communicating easier but also I feel they are able to open up more. I also put them on a sofa and not a chair because they will feel comfortable talking and more relaxed in such a tense meeting.

cultures and non-verbal communication

After doing some research online I realized that almost every culture uses non-verbal communication differently. I originally thought that non-verbal communication was universal but this doesn’t seem to be the case. Some of the most interesting examples I found were in the middle east it is rude to hand an object to someone with your left hand and burping is a sign of appreciation for food in India which is interesting because it would be considered rude here in the US. In Latin America, it is expected to be touchy feely with people but here in the us that could be considered too sexual and uncomfortable for many. I even found some countries consider a handshake to be rude, which is one of the friendliest gestures we have here in the Us. I think the one thing that I found to be most universal would be facial expressions. I have never experienced a different cultures non-verbal communication but after I graduate I want to travel and this made me realize I need to study up on how to communicate properly in other countries.

body language

Nonverbal message can be very hard to interpret. It is very easy to misconstrue someone’s body language even though we are often taught signals to look out for.

For me personally, I tend to have more of a shy personality especially when I’m around people that I do not know. I tend to be stand offish and always cross my arms when I’m in this situation, I have often got told that people thought I was on the snobby side until they got to really know me, and I think it is due to how they have interpreted my body language. I think shy behaviors can be mistaken for negative behaviors, but for me personally it’s that I tend to me standoffish when I do not know people. Another example would be when people talk to me and don’t directly look me in they eye I often think that they do not want to continue the conversation but I think certain people just have a hard time making eye contact as I have a hard time not being stand offish with people I am not familiar with.

What I found interesting

I found the ways to improve listening really informative and interesting. I guess I never realized how many different ways there are to improve listening skills. I think the way we listen is so important in communication because it is how we understand what the other person is trying to say, and it sets way for how we are going to respond, which in turn sets up for how that person is going to comprehend what we are saying. I think it is hard and quite a struggle to avoid distractions when one may not be interested in what a person is saying. It is easy to get distracted when you are not interested, and I often do that but I am trying to work on being better at it. I think the put your self in the other persons shoes is a good reminder for me on how to stay attentive because what may not be interesting to me is actually important to the person speaking to me.

Men and Women Communicating

I definitely feel that men and women use language differently. Women are more emotional then men, so I think even when we communicate we tend to talk about our feelings and want somewhat of an emotional connection. Women are just more personal with each other, where you don’t hear about Men going out and talking about there feelings with other guys, however Women talking about their feelings with other Women is very common. I think men tend to think more logical and straight forward. Men tend to communicate with each other more on things that they have interests of like sports, events, etc. Where as Women we communicate with each other about our feelings, relationships, health etc. I think the way Men communicate differently has a lot to do with how society teaches a man how he is suppose to me. Society doesn’t allow for Men to be as emotional as Women are.

Judging

Is it possible to perceive others without in some way judging or categorizing them? If so, how? If not, how can we make the judgments we do make more fair?

I have to admit that I think it is almost impossible to not be able to judge another person that may be communicating differently then what we are used to. I think judgment unfortunately is just so common considering our society judges people on how they look, economic status, cultural beliefs etc. There is so much more to be named that we judge people on so I think how someone communicates is most definitely on the list. I think in communicating It is easy to judge when we may not understand what another person has been through or is talking about especially when we can not apply it to fit within our own morals. I think that is when judgment most easily comes into play with communication.

values

The most interesting part of the reading to me was about Rokeach’s Terminal Values. It makes sense that when an audience comes to view a speaker they bring with them beliefs, values, and life experiences with them. Of all these to me personally values is the most important. Beliefs are just opinions but values are standing up for something you believe is right. I like how the book states that you may have hundreds of beliefs but values are deeply held, almost as if more sacred. I think that is what makes them more special and intimate. With speaking I think we relate more to the people who may hold the same values as we do. Attitudes is important as well because it forces us to act in certain ways but it doesn’t hold the same secrecy that values holds. It is so important for speakers to understand these values to motivate action.

speaker

I think I kind of al ready answered this question in my other post but I think Bill Clinton is a very well known speaker. To, me the strongest characteristics he carries are his confidence and power. Personally, I don’t see the attractiveness as a quality but I think that It is how he carries himself. He speaks with such confidence that I am so captivated by what he is saying, to me this is powerful because its like he drawls people in . I think also that it never seems like he is reading from a teleprompter because his is always making eye contact with his audience, to me this makes what he is saying more believable and more meaningful. I think it shows that he is passionate about what he is talking about. I think confidence and the way one carries themselves really helps in representing the words they are speaking and the meaning behind them.

influential speaker

-->

I think the most influential speaker I have ever heard is Bill Clinton. I remember even when I was younger, and he was President thinking that his speeches were so empowering. It looked as though he spoke from the heart, and not through reading a teleprompter. He spoke with confidence and left me feeling like I wanted to hear more. Recently, when watching the Democratic National Convention, I felt the same way about his speaking skills that I did back when he was President. Confidence, empowering, and moving are the best ways to describe his speaking skills. When trying to think of a way he could improve, I honestly couldn’t think of anyone. I think the qualities he has are the most important ones a good speaker should have. It is all in the way people presents themselves and I think he did a great job.

The worst speaker I have ever heard in my opinion would have to be Sarah Palin. In one particular speech I saw a few years ago, she kept playing with her hair and it was really distracting to the point she was trying to get across. To me a good speaker is not someone who could distract you from his or her words.

Most interesting concept

The one concept that I found to be most interesting  were the contexts for observing communication.  For starters when thinking about a place to observe public speeches, a speech community will come into place. Speech communities form when people share a common interest this can be anything from a political event to even a team gathering in a locker room to hear a coach speak.  A speech situation for example is when people gather for the occasion, these including anything from church events to study sessions. The sequence of a speech activity can include anything from a sermon or political debates. An effective way for these speeches to be persuasive would most likely be political as the speaker is working to gain a vote. I found that by reading this material helped to better understand the concept for communicating, and the way it is broken down. It also helped me to find which direction I would go in terms of the project and who I would like to observe as a speaker.

build worlds...

As individuals we “build worlds” but interpretation the tools we inherited from our own culture, this includes the language we speak, our values, the way we live, and our belief system. Social constructionist perspective shows how our culture and the way we were brought up influences the way we communicate. We build worlds through the acceptance of others ideas. For example, we live in a country where we are given the right to Freedom of Speech. As individuals we are allowed to express our opinions freely and have to accept others views as well. Besides, free speech there is so many other ways communication is influenced. Reality television has recently become a big movement, as well as text messaging instead of speaking on the phone. I think as far as the reality shows go, this is definitely something has made an impact in televisions across our nation more then others.

Patterned Interaction

I think it does make sense to think of communication as a patterned interaction, by doing so we are taking note of the behaviors and actions of the participants. I think we tend to change and interact differently with certain people then we do others, and the way the book described the game of chess made a perfect example. It becomes a patterned reaction when we intend to wait for others to respond. Often we anticipate the others “move” before they even say anything. I think communication can be very much like a game. Sometimes we tend to try to think of our next move or what to say during a conversation, and as we are listening to others we often think about how we will respond. The way it is different from a game is that there is no winner within the interaction and there really never needs to be.

From the reading

I found Francis Bacon identification of four idols or distortions that get in the way of clear thinking to be very interesting. The idols were referred to fallacies in thinking due to human nature. The idols of the Cave are prejudices that we bring with us because of our background and personalities. I like the cave idea because it reflects the closure that we are experience in the way we are raised or our personal beliefs. The “idols of the Market place” are center in the use of language; words according to Bacon can overrule our understanding.  The “Idols of the Tribe,” which states that our thinking is ruled by our emotion and causes us to be careless thinkers.  The “Idols of the Theatre” occur when we accept fashionable ideas uncritically; we sometimes create our own worlds through an unreal fashion. All four of this listed lead to distortion thinking that really opened up my mind to the way we think.

Orator

I don’t believe that to be an orator an individual has to be morally good. A lot of times public speakers deliver speeches that are “just what they want the audience to hear.”  I believe any person can be an Orator as long as they have the persuasive qualities to convince people of the message they are delivering. I think the idea behind an orator being morally good is a great one; unfortunately I do not believe that is always the case. In all honesty, the connection between truth, goodness, and public communication really lies in the way the audience perceives and responds to the speaker. I believe we see a lot of this in politics, and as an audience we want to hear speakers who are morally good.

Speech I most admire...

The speech I most admire would have to be Dr. Martin Luther King’s I have a dream speech. I felt that he influenced in each category of ethos, pathos, and logos to persuade others but I felt it was the most powerful in ethos, because of the ability to arouse emotions. Dr. Martin Luther King’s speech was very powerful and emotional because he spoke of a sensitive subject to many people. Dr. Martin Luther King spoke with confidence and his speech was very carefully planned and to the point.  Through pathos and being emotionally involved he was able to relate to his audience. I think my qualities of persuasiveness are similar in the fact that when I’m speaking about something I’m passionate about, I speak with the same confidence, which is a very persuasive quality.

About Me.

Hello, my name is Stacey. So I little bit about me, I attend William Jessup University majoring in Counseling Psychology. My goal is to work with children. I'm in my final semester there but needed one more elective so I chose to take this course at Sierra to save money and I thought an online course would be fun. School is my main focus right now since I'm getting ready to graduate but in my spare time I love to travel, work out, and spend time with my family and friends. :)